32 Bits of History That Will Always Be Hilarious

Human history is full of tragedy, heroism, and… people losing a war to birds, blowing up whales with dynamite, and getting outsmarted by a parrot who knew all the swear words.
If your history classes ever felt like a slow march through dates and battles, good news: the blooper reel is enormous, and it’s glorious.

Inspired by the wonderfully chaotic spirit of listicles like “32 Bits of History That Will Always Be Hilarious” on Cracked.com, this article takes a stroll through some of the funniest,
weirdest, and most delightfully unnecessary moments humanity has ever recorded. These stories are real, documented by historians, journalists, and mildly traumatized eyewitnesses.
The people involved may not have been laughing at the timebut you absolutely can now.

Why History Is Secretly a Comedy Club

When you zoom out, history is basically a very long story about humans trying their best with limited information, faulty technology, and way too much confidence.
That combination guarantees comedy: misunderstandings, overreactions, petty rivalries, and “this seemed like a good idea” decisions that absolutely were not.
The funniest historical facts tend to share a few themes:

• Overconfidence meets reality: Armies defeated by birds, inventors humiliated by their own creations, kings outmaneuvered by logistics.
• Unintended consequences: Plans that technically solved one problem but accidentally created five new ones.
• Petty drama: Lobster-based international disputes, insult wars, and politicians upstaged by animals.

With that in mind, let’s dive into 32 bits of history that will probably stay funny foreveras long as you weren’t the one getting clobbered by emus.

32 Bits of History That Will Always Be Hilarious

1. The Great Emu War: When Birds Beat the Army

In 1932, Australia decided to wage war on emus that were wrecking crops. Soldiers armed with machine guns rolled in expecting an easy victory.
The emus responded by simply… running away very fast in all directions. The “war” ended with the emus largely fine and the humans low on ammo and dignity.
Officially, the birds won. That’s a rough L to explain to future generations.

2. The Exploding Whale of Oregon

In 1970, a dead whale washed ashore in Florence, Oregon. Officials decided the most “efficient” solution was to pack it with dynamite and blow it up.
The explosion did not neatly vaporize the whale. Instead, huge chunks of blubber rained down on spectators, cars, and reporters.
One car was completely flattened by airborne whale. It’s the kind of moment that feels like slapstick, except it really happened.

3. Andrew Jackson’s Swearing Parrot

At President Andrew Jackson’s funeral, mourners were reportedly disrupted by his pet parrot, Poll, who started loudly cursing during the service.
The bird had apparently picked up Jackson’s colorful language over the years and unleashed it at the worst possible time.
The parrot had to be removed for excessive profanity. Imagine being so committed to chaos that your bird gets kicked out of your own funeral.

4. The Lobster War: International Relations but Crunchy

In the early 1960s, Brazil and France nearly came to blows over lobsters off the Brazilian coast. France argued lobsters were like fish and could swim freely;
Brazil insisted they crawled on the seabed and therefore belonged to them. Naval vessels were sent, diplomatic notes were exchanged, and yes, grown adults in suits
spent serious time debating the swimming capacity of lobsters. Eventually, things cooled down, but the phrase “lobster war” lives forever.

5. The Con Man Who Sold the Eiffel Tower. Twice.

In the 1920s, con artist Victor Lustig convinced scrap metal dealers that the French government was secretly selling the Eiffel Tower for parts.
Using forged documents and a smooth pitch, he “sold” the monumentnot once, but twice. The victims were too embarrassed to go to the police.
It’s the historical equivalent of falling for a phishing email claiming to sell you the moon.

6. Napoleon’s Rabbit Disaster

Napoleon Bonaparte once organized a rabbit hunt for his officers. Someone ordered domesticated rabbits instead of wild ones,
and when the cages were opened, the bunnies swarmed Napoleon and his entourageexpecting food, not fear.
The emperor of France retreated from a tide of fluffy, affectionate attackers. Not his worst defeat, but definitely his cutest.

7. The Boston Molasses Flood

In 1919, a giant tank of molasses burst in Boston, sending a wave of sticky syrup through the streets.
It moved fast enough to knock people and horses off their feet, flattened buildings, and caused serious damage.
Locals later said on hot days, the area still smelled like molasses. It sounds like a cartoon gag until you remember it was both deadly and extremely sticky.

8. The Empress and the Missing Toothbrush

When Valentina Tereshkova became the first woman in space in 1963, the Soviet planners forgot to pack one very basic item: a toothbrush.
She spent nearly three days orbiting the Earth without that simple piece of hygiene gear. Humanity launched a person into space but was still shaky at packing an overnight bag.

9. Aeschylus vs. The Eagle

Ancient Greek playwright Aeschylus supposedly died when an eagle dropped a turtle on his head, mistaking his bald scalp for a rock.
It’s tragic, yesbut also the kind of cosmic slapstick that makes you wonder if the universe has a dark sense of humor.

10. The Emu War’s Spirit Animal: The “Trebuchet Incident”

During the Spanish siege of Tenochtitlan, the conquistadors tried to build a trebuchet because they didn’t have proper siege artillery handy.
They had no real engineers but figured, “How hard can it be?” The first test shot launched the rock straight up… and back down onto the trebuchet, destroying it.
Sometimes history really is just one long blooper reel.

11. The Exploding Toilet in the British Parliament

In the 17th century, during a meeting of the British Parliament, a servant lit a candle near a cesspit, causing built-up methane gas to ignite.
The resulting explosion destroyed part of the building and badly injured several people.
Imagine having to explain to the king that Parliament blew up because the bathroom literally exploded.

12. The “Don’t Sit There” Throne

In medieval courts, rulers sometimes used mechanical thrones or elaborate chairs to impress visitors.
There are accounts of trap chairs that would collapse or dump unsuspecting guests to the floor if they sat without permission.
Nothing says “respect my authority” like giving someone a slapstick pratfall in front of the entire court.

13. When a Pope Put a Dead Predecessor on Trial

In 897 CE, Pope Stephen VI held the infamous “Cadaver Synod,” exhuming the corpse of a former pope,
propping it up on a throne, and putting it on trial for alleged crimes. The poor corpse “lost,”
of course. It’s grim, but also feels like the world’s darkest puppet court show.

14. The King Who Walked Into a DoorHistorically

Several monarchs and nobles across Europe blamed suspicious injuries on “slipping,” “falling,” or “walking into doors,”
long before that became a sitcom excuse. Court gossip, however, often told more dramatic stories involving duels, affairs, or drinking.
Even centuries ago, people were inventing boring explanations to hide spicy drama.

15. The Stone Pillow Era

In ancient Egypt and parts of China, well-to-do sleepers used stone or ceramic headrests instead of soft pillows.
They were meant to keep bugs away and preserve elaborate hairstyles. They did not, however, look remotely comfortable.
Ancient luxury apparently meant “my neck hurts, but at least I look fancy.”

16. The Urine-Powered Roman Laundry

In ancient Rome, professional laundries used human urine as a cleaning agent. Public urinals were taxed because the liquid was so “valuable.”
Workers stomped clothes in tubs of diluted urine to whiten them. Next time you complain about laundry day,
remember you’re not wading through taxpayer-funded pee for cleaner linens.

17. The Presidential Cheese

In 1835, a New York dairy farmer gifted President Andrew Jackson a massive wheel of cheese weighing over 1,000 pounds.
It was left to age in the White House for years, absorbing every smell in the building.
Eventually, Jackson invited the public in to help eat it. The cheese was devouredbut the smell lingered long after everyone left.

18. The Exploding Fraud Balloon

In the 19th century, hot-air balloon demonstrations were all the rage. Some “inventors” simply inflated non-functional balloons for paying crowds
and hoped nobody would ask questions. There are accounts of balloons tearing loose, deflating midair, or never leaving the ground
while onlookers slowly realized they’d paid to watch someone fight with fabric in a field.

19. The Battle of the Beards

Facial hair has started entire scandals. From Peter the Great’s beard tax in Russia to Victorian debates over whether respectable men should shave,
people have written serious pamphlets about beards. Political cartoons of the era are full of epic moustache shade.

20. The Great Beer Flood of London

In 1814, a giant beer vat burst in London, causing over 300,000 gallons of porter to flood the streets.
Some people reportedly rushed out with pots and pans to collect beer. Others climbed onto furniture to avoid being swept away in the world’s weirdest tidal wave.
You can’t get more “British history” than a literal beer flood.

21. When a Pope’s Hat Was a Security Risk

In various medieval ceremonies, headgear wasn’t just decorativeit signaled power and status.
There are stories of crowns and miters so heavy or unstable that attendants had to hold rulers steady so the regalia wouldn’t fall off mid-ceremony.
Imagine your entire political legitimacy depending on “don’t drop the hat.”

22. The Calendar Chaos of Changing Time

When Britain adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1752, people “lost” 11 days as the dates were corrected.
Rumors spread that angry crowds demanded their days back. Whether or not those exact protests happened the way later storytellers claimed,
the confusion was realweddings, rents, and debts all had to be recalculated. Bureaucratic comedy at its finest.

23. When Mammoths Outlived the Pyramids

Woolly mammoths were still roaming a small Arctic island while the pyramids of Egypt were already standing.
That means someone could have theoretically drawn “mammoth fan art” while also sketching pyramids.
History’s timelines are often stranger (and funnier) than we imagine.

24. The Underground for Fun

In early 20th-century London, some people took the Underground not just to commute but for joyrides and novelty dates.
The idea of voluntarily sitting on public transit for fun feels, frankly, like history’s most suspicious claim.

25. The War of the Bucket

In 14th-century Italy, city-states Modena and Bologna fought a war partly triggered by the theft of a wooden bucket from a well.
The bucket was taken as a trophy, an insult was perceived, and suddenly armies were involved.
Today, the bucket is displayed as a proud artifact. Somewhere, a medieval mom is still mentally screaming, “It’s just a bucket!”

26. The Great Hat Panic

Periodically, fashionable societies have convinced themselves that certain hats were ruining civilizationtoo tall, too wide, too frivolous.
Newspapers printed serious moral commentary about headwear. Large hats in theaters caused such outrage that rules were passed to stop people from blocking the stage with their outfits.
You haven’t lived until you’ve seen “hat etiquette” treated as a national crisis.

27. The Car That Lost to a Horse… Slowly

In the very early days of automobiles, races between cars and horses sometimes ended with the horse winning,
often because the car broke down, overheated, or stalled. One early motor race included competitors who had to stop repeatedly to repair their engines,
while onlookers watched a horse trotting by like, “Sure, technology.”

28. The Presidential Oath Flub

More than one U.S. presidential inauguration has included someone slightly messing up the wording of the oatheither the Chief Justice or the president repeating lines out of order.
Nothing collapsed, the government carried on, and Americans got a small reminder that even at the highest levels, public speaking is terrifying.

29. The Accidental National Anthem Remix

There have been multiple sporting events where singers forgot the lyrics to national anthems or mixed verses together on live TV.
While not exactly “ancient history,” it fits a long tradition: we keep trying to be solemn and patriotic, and our brains keep panic-resetting to factory settings under pressure.

30. The Lost “Do Not Touch” Sign

Throughout history, priceless artifacts, royal regalia, and sacred relics have been dropped, mishandled, or accidentally damaged by curious visitors and clumsy staff.
One recurring theme in museum history: someone ignoring an obvious “don’t touch that,” long before printed signs were a thing.

31. When Diplomacy Came Down to a Translation Fail

Mis-translations have caused confusion in negotiations, treaties, and public statements for centuries.
Even without modern memes, diplomats have accidentally said the historical equivalent of “we will bury you” when they meant something closer to “we will outlast you economically,”
prompting frantic clarifications afterward.

32. The Eternal Comedy of “We’ve Always Done It This Way”

Many of the funniest historical moments came from people doing something obviously impractical simply because it was tradition: heavy uniforms in tropical climates,
bizarre ceremonial steps, or rituals that nobody could fully explain anymore.
If you’ve ever sat through a confusing meeting that existed “because we’ve always had this meeting,” congratulations: you’ve participated in living history.

What These Historical Blooper Reels Say About Us

It’s easy to laugh at people from the past, but these hilarious historical moments are also weirdly comforting.
They prove that human beings have always been a mix of brilliant and bafflingclever enough to build pyramids, write symphonies, and go to space,
but also capable of losing wars to birds and using urine as a cleaning product.

From an SEO standpoint, “funny history facts” and “hilarious historical events” are popular search topics not just because they’re entertaining,
but because they make the past feel less distant and more relatable. When you read that someone in 1919 had to mop molasses off their front steps,
or that emperors worried about their hat falling off, you suddenly feel a bit closer to them. The costumes change, the technology changes,
but panicking in public and making dumb decisions under pressure? Timeless.

Humor is one of the best ways to engage with heavy subjects. Learning about wars, revolutions, and political upheavals can be overwhelming,
but sprinkling in weird, true stories helps you remember that the people involved weren’t just names in textbooks.
They were messy, flawed humans who made mistakes, had bad days, and sometimes accidentally created the funniest moments in history.

of Lived Experience with Hilarious History

If you’ve ever fallen down the rabbit hole of Cracked.com-style listicles about outrageous moments from history,
you know the experience is strangely addictive. You click in for “just one list,” and suddenly it’s two hours later,
you know way too much about emus, and you’re questioning every decision your species has ever made.

One of the most striking things about reading these compilations is how quickly your mental picture of history changes.
Most of us were introduced to the past through solemn textbook chapters and grainy black-and-white photos.
The tone was serious, the stakes were always “civilization itself,” and the main characters were usually kings, generals, or presidents.
Then you encounter a story about someone blowing up a whale with dynamite or parliaments arguing over lobster mobility, and suddenly the past feels… oddly familiar.

There’s also a certain emotional relief baked into these stories. Modern life can feel relentlessly intenseendless news cycles, social media outrage, and big global problems.
Reading about a 19th-century engineer proudly unveiling a brand-new machine that immediately collapses, or a royal court quietly pretending a public ritual hasn’t gone off the rails,
reminds you that “messing up in public” is not a uniquely modern experience.
People have been making bad calls with high stakes for thousands of years. Somehow, the world kept spinning.

Another interesting thing happens when you binge these hilarious history bits: you start noticing patterns in human behavior.
The same overconfidence, vanity, pride, and stubbornness show up again and again, just in different costumes.
Today’s viral “hold my drink” video could easily be yesterday’s failed siege weapon test or questionable ceremonial stunt.
The technologies changefrom trebuchets to TikTokbut the impulse to show off, cut corners, or insist “I know what I’m doing” is eternal.

If you use these stories well, they can actually deepen your appreciation for more serious history.
That silly anecdote about a general’s ridiculous uniform might nudge you to learn more about the war he fought in.
The beer flood, molasses disaster, and exploding whale might push you to explore how cities regulated industry and infrastructure.
Humor becomes a doorway. Once you’re inside, you discover a richer, more complex reality behind the punchlines.

There’s also a personal side to all this. When you read enough of these historical bloopers, you may feel a little kinder toward your own mistakes.
Maybe you sent an email to the wrong person, cooked a disastrous meal for guests, or confidently explained something that turned out to be completely wrong.
Embarrassing? Sure. But at least you didn’t lose a naval confrontation to lobsters or design a public monument that people kept walking into.
Compared to world leaders who accidentally turned a dead whale into high-velocity shrapnel, your bad day is looking pretty manageable.

In the end, “32 Bits of History That Will Always Be Hilarious” isn’t just a catchy titleit’s a reminder that the past is not a distant, flawless epic.
It’s a long, chaotic improv show where everyone is doing their best with limited scripts and questionable props.
Laughing at history doesn’t mean disrespecting it; it means recognizing that the same flawed, funny, hopeful species that survived exploding whales and emu wars is still here,
trying again. And if we can keep that perspective, maybe our own future blooper reel will be a little easier to live with.

Conclusion

History is full of disaster and drama, but also of ridiculous, charming, and utterly avoidable mistakes that somehow made it into the record books.
From bird-based military defeats to whale-based urban planning failures, these hilarious historical moments help us see our ancestors more clearlynot as statues on pedestals,
but as real people who occasionally made choices so spectacularly bad they’re still making us laugh centuries later.

The next time the world feels overwhelming, remember: someone once thought detonating a whale was a good idea. Humanity survived that. We’ll probably survive this, too.